


idle siren

by WelcomeToTheBadlands



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Artists, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bars and Pubs, Bipolar Disorder, Bisexual Male Character, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Horniness, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Miscommunication, Musicians, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, Poor Life Choices, Rey Needs A Hug, Soft Ben Solo, Take your meds kids, These babies are so dumb, so much miscommunication
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22341895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WelcomeToTheBadlands/pseuds/WelcomeToTheBadlands
Summary: Rey had experience with people approaching her—just not here. Most people here were regulars and knew not to talk to her. But this man most certainly wasn’t a regular. He had just sat down in the stool right next to her and said, “Here for the music?”She turned around and looked him up and down, he was practically a fucking tree. ‘A tree with great hair,’ Her brain supplied for her, rather unhelpfully. “Just the drink, actually.” He nodded.“Come here often?” Rey snorted.“Yeah, guess you could say that.” This guy really was new here. “I’m the manager-slash-owner, currently off duty obviously.”“Oh, neat.” He looked nervous, which Rey found a little bit endearing coming from a man that big. She glanced him up and down, trying to figure out what his deal was. He had this vibe that said rebellious rock star mixed with a hipster, but he wasn’t as creepy as actual rock stars or hipsters could be.“I’m Rey, Rey with an ‘e’.”_In which Ben is a rockstar who falls too fast, and Rey has way too much baggage for her own good.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 9
Kudos: 65





	1. idle hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and so we meet; and thus begins a series of explosions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idle hands are the devil's best friend  
> I got a place for both of them  
> Come on, baby, won't you help me, please?  
> Won't you help me, down on my knees 
> 
> \- happy pill, grandson

**_2015_**

Rey was used to loud noises and a haze of vape clouds, mixed with the smell of alcohol and weed (despite them not being allowed to smoke in her club). It came with frequenting most of the places around where she worked. Today was her day off, but of course she was spending it here. The Idle Siren was a smaller venue, but it was still pretty successful and had it’s fair share of acts come through. Usually more indie acts with band names that were way too pretentious to remember came through, and today it was no different. Tonight, it was the Knights of Ren, and Rose told her that the main singer was having a break down about how the venue was a lot smaller than anything they were used to performing. “Ginger fuck is such a dick,” She had said. “You were smart to schedule off tonight.”

“I’m sorry girl,” Rey grimaced, “Any other bandmates giving you shit?” Rose shook her head no. “Good, now can I please have a White Russian?”

“Totally, give me a sec.”

“Good,” Rey was ready to zone out and drink. She didn’t pay much attention to anything going on around her, and that’s why she didn’t see the moment that Kylo Ren set his sights on her.

__

Kylo preferred the smaller venues to doing concerts in arenas. It was something about the acoustics that felt more authentic than when they were on a big sound stage in the middle of an American Airlines theatre. The Idle Siren wasn’t necessarily the biggest place ever, but it was odd and niche and drew in a lot of really great artists, and bands that Kylo knew for a fact were better than the Knights of Ren. Every tiny concert that the Idle Siren had ever put on, Kylo had ended up watching on Youtube.

There was a certain odd charm to the place. It was like a bar-café-library-sound stage hybrid and he really liked how everything was set up. There wasn’t really anything like it. He just wished that it was a little bit quieter today, he could tell that tonight was a busier night for them, and the bartenders were swamped when people started to come in. Kylo had to deal with Hux bitching in his ear about he’d much rather be anywhere else, and Kylo wanted to throttle him.

“I’m going to get a drink,”

“Sure, go further your alcohol problem.”

“Project much?” Tamlyn hissed at him. “Leave him alone, you know he’s more of a dick when you get crotchety at him.” Kylo ignored that comment and started to head to the bar. After all of these years, Kylo had learned to blend in so that no one noticed him. Most of the times it worked, especially when he was in some place dark and people weren’t really paying attention, but today it didn’t work.

Three girls ended up latching onto him almost as soon as he had managed to make his way to the bar, and Kylo found him mentally cursing whatever god decided that it wouldn’t give him just ten minutes of alone time. One of the girls, a taller blonde, had latched onto him so hard that he could feel her nails through his leather jacket. Buying them drinks was enough to get them to go away this time, and he managed to get to the bar.

That was the first time that he saw her.

She wasn’t paying attention to anything in particular, but she was people watching, nursing a White Russian in her hand. Kylo ordered a Negroni and watched her for a minute before deciding that he was going to make his way to her.

He was never the type of person to get nervous when approaching someone, but here he was, heart beating in his chest as he downed a little bit of alcohol to numb the anxiety he was feeling.

__

Rey had experience with people approaching her—just not here. Most people here were regulars and knew not to talk to her. But this man most certainly wasn’t a regular. He had just sat down in the stool right next to her and said, “Here for the music?”

She turned around and looked him up and down, he was practically a fucking tree. ‘A tree with great hair,’ Her brain supplied for her, rather unhelpfully. “Just the drink, actually.” He nodded.

“Come here often?” Rey snorted.

“Yeah, guess you could say that.” This guy really was new here. “I’m the manager-slash-owner, currently off duty obviously.”

“Oh, neat.” He looked nervous, which Rey found a little bit endearing coming from a man that big. She glanced him up and down, trying to figure out what his deal was. He had this vibe that said rebellious rock star mixed with a hipster, but he wasn’t as creepy as actual rock stars or hipsters could be.

“I’m Rey, Rey with an ‘e’.” 

__

“Well, Rey with an ‘e’.” Kylo paused. He had a choice to make, be pretentious and use his stage name or tell her his real name. He goes with his real name. “I’m Ben. Ben Solo.”

“Ben,” Rey licked her lips and leaned against the bar counter. “I’ve never seen you here before, and I always remember a face.”

“Yeah, this is my first time here.”

“Anything particular that brings you here?”

“Actually, yeah.” This was about to sound so pretentious and he hopes to god that he’s not about to scare this woman off, but he tells her. “I’m with the band.” For some reason he expected her to immediately lose interest in him, there must be so many musicians that come and go through here that end up hitting on her. She might’ve thought that he was the exact same way.

Instead, her face doesn’t change at all and Ben wonders how this woman can be so impossible to read. “Really?”

“Yeah,”

“What do you play?”

“Guitar,” And everything else, but he didn’t want to get into that right now. Not when he had to perform in a few minutes.

“Well, I guess I’ll stay and watch. For you,”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” They talk for a few more minutes before he has to go back and perform.

__

Rey isn’t sure what she thinks of the Knights of Ren. She knows that she has a lot of thoughts about them, though. Specifically, Ben Solo, the guitarist. Or Kylo. His stage name is stupid, but that doesn’t stop Rey from just watching him perform. Under the soft lighting and the small stage and the stripped down performance that they’re giving, Rey learned a lot about Ben Solo.

The first thing that she learned from his was that he was way more into the music than anyone else in the band. The second thing was that he wasn’t happy. She could tell that there was something holding him back, and that he was stressed. Which was a damn shame, because a man that looked like that should only thrive in Rey’s opinion.

She could also tell that the quality in some of the songs changed more with his backing vocals, because she definitely did not want to listen to the one that she assumed Rose had called ‘Ginger Fuck’ earlier.

When they were done and people started to clear up, the band started to pack up, the two of them locked eyes again and Rey raised an eyebrow, wondering if he was going to come over again.

Of course, he did.

__

Ben wasn’t sure what to expect. He was thinking that Rey was going to leave—because he was pretty sure that Rey wasn’t interested in all of this—but she had stayed. When Ben was done and he saw that she was still there when most of the bar had cleared out and the crew members were starting to pack what little equipment was actually theirs into their van. “You’re still here,”

“Don’t sound so surprised.” She hadn’t drank anything else since he had started performing. Still sober. Ben wasn’t used to talking to someone for hours, but that’s what happened.

He and Rey were at the Idle Siren for two more hours, just talking, before Ben asked, “Do you have any plans?”

“No,” She shrugged.

“Why?”

“You should come back to my hotel room.” It was a risk, but he was willing to take it.

“Should I?” There was something about her slight British accent that just did things to him. He loved it. She stared at him like she wanted to eat him whole, and Ben was ready for it. “Do you give in head?”

Ben snorted at the bluntness of this girl. He loved it though. “I’ve been known to give more than I get,”

“Is that so?”

“That’s so,”

“Then, I guess that would make you really good at eating a girl out.” She batted her eyelashes at him and he was gone. He was such a goner. Maybe she felt it too, because when she let her fingers graze against his forearm, he felt like he was on fire.

“Not to brag but—I’ve been told I’m excellent at that.”

“Great,” Rey said, “because I’d love to come with you.”

__

Out of all of Rey’s one-night stands, she didn’t usually have a thing for fucking rock stars. It just didn’t happen. Ben Solo’s hotel room was more expensive than her rent. The crystalline chandeliers in the main lobby told her as much. She began to wonder how she had never heard of his band before—because they were certainly rich enough to be known by everyone.

He had his own security detail too, which forced Rey to keep her hands off him in the elevator, despite the fact that she was tempted to see what he was packing in those pants.

She got her answer soon enough, though. Because as soon as they got into their hotel room and Ben shut the door, she practically jumped on him.

Fucking Ben Solo wasn’t like Rey was expecting, not at all. Granted, it was still good. Rey just didn’t expect how good of a lay it would be. It started rough, Ben pinning her against the wall and kissing her. Rey rutting into him a little. Rey was the one who took control though, the one who started to reach for his belt. “Do you have condoms?”

“Yeah, let me get one real quick.” Of course, he was lightning quick at putting a condom on. He didn’t fuss about wearing one either. “You on birth control?”

“Got the implant,”

“Cool, cool.” It didn’t take long for the two of them to get back at it. Ben wasn’t lying when he said he was good. “Lay on your back,” He told her.

“I want to—”

“Just let me make you feel good,” He said. So she did what he said. He let him make her feel good, and that started with him eating her out. His soft touches as he gripped her thighs, and the obscene sounds that he made when his head was between her thighs elicited moans from her. No one had ever made her cum from just eating her out.

And then there was Ben Solo.

Fucking Ben Solo.

He made her cum three more times that night, leaving her feeling boneless for a long while. It was possibly one of the best nights that Rey had ever had.

__

**_2017_ **

There were some days where Rey felt like she had way too much energy pent up inside of her, and days like these usually made her job easier for her to do. That pent-up energy seemed to be maximized times ten thousand when she chugged a Monster before work. She had a lot to do today, analyze sales, there was a new shipment of liquor coming in that she had to help unload, and the Knights of Ren were coming back to town.

She hadn’t seen Ben Solo since that one night in his hotel in 2014, but she would be lying if she said that she wasn’t kind of excited to see him again. She still remembered that night, it had been what she’d abused herself to in her bedroom most nights, when her vibrator or other men weren’t doing it for her.

He was sweet, while having that ‘I should absolutely be a douchebag’ aesthetic about him. Leather jacket, six pack, tattoos and all. She tried not to get her hopes up about seeing him too much, and just worked her ass off for the rest of the day. It was busy again, people really wanted to see the Knights of Ren this time around. “Did they release a new album or something?” She had said when she saw the people start to line up.

“I can’t believe you listen to so much music and still don’t know a thing about the Knights of Ren,” Rose rolled her eyes, “they’re kind of a big thing.”

“Don’t forget,” Kaydel, one of their nightshift bartenders had just clocked in, “she slept with Kylo Ren.”

“Oh yeah, you also slept with one of the band members—which by the way I can’t believe it’s been all this time and you won’t tell us how good it was—and you still don’t know anything about their band.”

“To be honest,” Rey said, “I only listened to the songs with B-Kylo as the prominent vocals, so that means like, none of their new stuff. Besides, I have a life. I’m busy, I can’t keep tabs on everything all my one night stands are doing or I would never be able to get anything done.”

“I guess that’s reasonable,”

“It is,” Rey said.

Rey’s excitement at seeing Ben Solo left almost the first second that they ran into each other. She had walked up to the sound stage and asked if he could get them anything. She was specifically talking to Ben, hoping for a ‘hi’ or something and instead she just got a very passive-aggressive, “ _We’re fine.”_ From him.

Rey was sure that he was just in a bad mood. “Okay, well if you need anything I’ll—”

“I said, we’re fine.”

That was unnecessary, “Alright then. Have a good show,” She said tersely. She turned around and walked away with out another word.

What the fuck was that?


	2. a working bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry for the cliff hanger, i losy like half the chapter

When he saw her again, under the soft glow of the lights, his heart hurt all over again.

__

“What’s wrong with him?” Rose had watched the whole encounter between Kylo Ren and Rey go down, and Rey could hear the disgust in her voice.

“I have no idea,” Rey shrugged. Kaydel rolled her eyes.

“Not to be a manhating lesbian or anything, but that’s so typical of men. One good lay and then they stop treating you like a human.”

“Whatever,” Rey said, “we have a job to do anyway. Fuck him.”

Rey went into the back when the Knights of Ren performed. She decided that Ben-Kylo, whatever his name was, wasn’t worth her time. She had schedules to do anyways.

**Rose: ginger fuck _wants_ freee drinks **

**Rey: under no circumstances will that happen**

**Rey: … actually**

**Rey: gimme a sec**

Rey came out to the back and came into the bar. There was a short intermission. “What do you want?” She asked Hux curtly.

“Six shots of vodka,” Rey looked up on stage and then back to him.

She fixed him five shots.

“I said—”

“Just don’t give one to Kylo and you’ll be fine.”

“You’re petty. I like it.”

“Get moving along, these are the only free drinks you’re ever going to get.” It was then that she remembered that they had two more pop ups that week, and she officially wanted to die. She didn’t know what she had done wrong, but if Kylo was content with being a dick for her, she was perfectly capable at returning what he was giving her.

With more of that dickish energy if was necessary.

“I’m going to go finish the schedules. Text me if you need something.”

“Okay,” Rose said, “we’ll tell you if Kylo acts like a dick.”

“I don’t want to know,” Rey said, “I don’t fucking care.” She absolutely did care. She was so confused, because he was so sweet to her back in 2015. Maybe his personality took a turn for the worse after that? She wasn’t sure. She shouldn’t care or let it get under her skin either.

She didn’t let guys get under her skin.

And yet here he was.

After the performance, the Knights of Ren packed up and started to leave. Rey came out to make sure everything was okay with the sound stage. It was messier than it had been left the last time they had been here, but not so much that it was outright rude. Still, Rey was a little irritated. She realigned some of the wires and speakers and was about to walk off the soundstage when Kylo came in from the back, bumping into her as he made his way to the bar. “Watch where you’re going,”

“I was going to get a drink, or is that a crime?”

“Go fuck a cactus,”

He snorted, obviously amused. “Real cute.”

“The way you’re acting makes it more likely for someone to spit in your drinks.”

“I was just wondering if I could get one of those free shots tha—”  
  


“No, you’re paying double for anything you want. Now if you excuse me, I’m busy. I don’t have time to talk to douchebags with daddy issues.”

__

That stung. Rey didn’t like saying things like that. She could see it in his face, she hurt Kylo’s feelings with the daddy issues remark, but it served him right for being a dick. Rey sighed as she passed him, knowing that the Knights of Ren were booked there for a whole week.

“I’m fucking tired,” Rey said as soon as she met Rose and Kaydel back at the bar. They closed in about an hour, and there were still some stragglers around.

“I know,” Rose said, “if you want to go home early, I can take over.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Rose gave her a hug, “you work way too much anyways.”

“Thanks, babe.” She said. “I’m just hella tired,”

“Yeah, no problem. See you tomorrow.”

__

Under the neon lights, no stars are visible. The rainwater reflected the purple and blue lights of the strip club and other stores and restaurants next to her as she walked to her car. Sometimes, Rey wished that she could just walk all the way home. If she wasn’t afraid of getting murdered, she might’ve done that today. She needed a breath of fresh air.

Instead she drove home and got home, feeling her energy go down the drain as soon as she locked the door behind her. Rey’s apartment was small, but cozy. She had tried to make it feel like home while spending as little as she possibly could. That meant picture frames that she brought from Wal-Mart and repainted to look expensive, her own art hung up on the walls and candles she had found at Dollar Tree that smelled good.

The one thing that Rey liked the most about her apartment was the overwhelming amount of blankets that she had in almost every room, that way if she didn’t have enough energy to move to another room she could still lay down and go to sleep. That’s what she did tonight, passed out on the couch, waking up just two hours before she was supposed to go in for work.

She ignored the emptiness in her stomach, still wearing her uniform from the night before. She had to remind herself to take a shower her uniform when she got home tonight, and just pass out. Rose was already there when she clocked in. “How’s everything going?”

“Great,” Rose said, “Ginger fuck hasn’t bothered me at all.”

“Amazing,” Rey said, “what about Emo Fuck?”

“Weirdly enough he was oddly nice,”

“Great, so it’s just a problem with me.” Rey could feel her stomach tie up in knots.

“Yeah, apparently. I think he’s just a dick. You shouldn’t have to worry about him.” Rey started moving boxes and made sure that the ice was filled for the bar. “I can deal with making sure they’re all accommodated today.” Rose said.

“Would you?” Rey asked, “I would normally do that but—he just made it weird.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks, you’re great.”

“No problem. You eaten?”

“No,”

“Thought so, had Phas buy you a bagel and some chips before she got off of her shift. They’re in your office.”

“God, next time you see her tell her she’s a life saver.”

“Will do,” She wished that she could say that she avoided Kylo Ren for the rest of the night, but she didn’t. She stayed behind the bar and in her office for the most part, and at one point he came over to order a drink, right before the sound check.

“Make sure he pays full price.” Usually bands got half off for anything they wanted behind the bar, but not when they were acting like an asshole.

“That’s real cute.”

“Is there any reason why you’re acting like a dick to my boss?” Kaydel said.

Rey snorted and watched as Kylo turned his eye on her, “Really?”

“What?”

“You just let your employees speak to band like that,”

“Kaydel,” Rey said, “while your enthusiasm is appreciated, please don’t speak to customers like that again.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Now.” Rey said, firmly white knuckling the edge of the bar. “You’re paying full price, call it an asshole tax.”

“That’s rich coming from you,”

“What?” Before Kylo could open his mouth to say something else, Rey rolled her eyes and shut him down. “You know what, I don’t give a fuck. Do whatever you want, Connix. I’m going to the back,” She needed a breath of fresh air, and probably some weed or a drink, but unfortunately she didn’t have either of those right now, so she just got a water bottle out of the mini fridge in her office and chugged the whole thing as fast as she could, feeling the burn in her chest when she chugged it a little too fast.

Maybe she needed to clock out early again.

No, she owned this place, she wasn’t going to let an emo asshole drive her out of it because he was starting to set shit off in her head.

**_Rey: hey you got any shit on u_ **

****

**_Rose: not currently, but I have some at home_ **

****

**_Rose: u know u shouldn’t be taking that shit with ur meds_ **

****

**_Rey: shit u right_ **

****

**_Rey: I might need it tho, when the price inevitably goes up and I can’t afford it again_ **

****

**_Rose: I’ll hook u up then, but if stuff is starting to set you off you should just leave_ **

****

**_Rey: nah im good rn, emo fuck is just making me mad_ **

****

**_Rose: it’s weird to me that he’s suddenly acting like this, are you sure you didn’t like sleep walk and kill his mother or shit in his cheerios or sum shit_ **

**_Rey: lmao idk but im sick of it_ **

****

**_Rey: I need another dick_ **

****

**_Rey: that’s what I need_ **

****

**_Rose: don’t u have a vibrator at home?_ **

****

**_Rey: it broke_ ** **_😐_ **

****

**_Rose: I know what im getting u for ur birthday_ **

****

**_Rey: really funny_ **

****

**_Rey: but anyone real dick is better_ **

****

**_Rey: not bc of whats attached to it, bc trust me if I could I wouldn’t have that_ **

****

**_Rose: cant relate but_ **

****

**_Rose: u kno u can basically get any guy_ **

****

**_Rose: ur a 100 out of 10 so_ **

****

**_Rose: get some cock sweetie, just mke sure ur clean_ **

****

**_Rey: mkay mom,,, gotta finish out my shift but I’ll take ur advice_ **

****

Kylo didn’t try to approach her for the rest of the shift. She wasn’t there on Wednesday to experience any more shenanigans, but she did hook up with a guy. She’s pretty sure that his name was Dave? Dan? She wasn’t sure. Derek?

Whatever.

It was Friday where things really started to come to a head. Rey woke up feeling like shit. It took everything in her to get up and actually take her meds, noticing that there was about three days of pills left in her little pill organizer.

Great.

She didn’t have time to think about it now. She went to work and felt like her head was underwater the entire time. And then Kylo came up to her.

“What do you want?” She sighed. There was practically no one in the venue yet and she was just setting up.

“I just wanted to talk to you,”

“I’m not really in the mood to fight with someone today,”

“Neither am I, I just came to say I’m sorry.”

“Really?” Rey turned around, looking him up and down. “I bet you are.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Rey rolled her eyes.

“No, really. What was that supposed to mean?”

“Why are you being so aggressive, Kylo?” Rey said. “Overcompensating for something. Hmm?” With that, she turned on her heel and left.


	3. hot girl bummer

Ben wasn’t sure exactly what he was supposed to do after Rey blatantly ignored his apology like that. He supposed that he could go back to being hostile—but he really didn’t want to do that. So, he just stayed out of her way for the most part. They didn’t have a problem on Wednesday. Everything was easy going and he barely saw her at all. Maybe that was better. Ben fucked up his chance with her, he deserved any of the hate that he got from her. Or the lack thereof.

It was Thursday and they were close to closing out the session for the week when he saw it. Rey flirting with a guy as she was setting things up for the night crowd that was about to come in. Ben got this horrible feeling in his gut as he just watched and completely ignored everything that was going on around him, and he fucked up during the soundcheck. Hux turned around and rolled his eyes, “Fuckin’ really Solo, I know that you’re shit at guitar but can you please at least try to pretend like you’re a talented musician?”

“I need some fresh air,”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Don’t be such a crybaby,” He was already going out the back. He really wished that he had some weed on him, or something. But he didn’t and he really just felt like he wanted to die. Then he got texted from a number that he hadn’t seen since 2015.

He got a text from Rey.

__

Rey sighed. She really was trying to be nice. This man just brought out the worst in her, and it was absolutely impossible for Rey to fathom why he could get under her skin so easily.

Well, at least she knew where his priorities were. She rolled her eyes and kept texting him. He was such an asshole, but she was bored.

“I never said that you were a bitch,” Rey nearly jumped out of her skin as she saw Kylo Ren round the corner.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Coming back inside,” He raised an eyebrow at her, and Rey wasn’t sure what to read off his expression.

“So, were you just kidding about—”

“No, I left them in my office.” She said.

“Just take one, to take the edge off.”

“Right. Thanks.”

“Whatever,” She turned on her heel and walked away, because at this point she really wasn’t looking for anything from him. For the rest of the night. There was no problem between the two of them and time seemed to go by extra fast for Rey. She felt like she had some extra energy tonight, and she was serving extra drinks. She even felt charitable enough to let Kylo stay after the rest of the Knights of Ren had gone.

She had sent Kaydel and Rose home and told them that she would be okay. They gave her a look. “What?”

“Are you sure? He’s still here.”

“Everyone else is gone, so closing will be fine. Just lock the door behind you. It’ll be fine.” Rose nodded and got Kaydel to turn around with her. Rey wasn’t sure what to expect from that night, but she could tell that something was bothering Kylo. There must have been a reason that he wanted to stay behind.

Rey could think of a few that she wouldn’t blame him for. She tossed him a water bottle wordlessly as she started to close up. She wasn’t surprised when she heard the strum of guitar begin as soon as she turned around.

Some of the songs were their songs, not his. But it sounded so much better when it was just him singing. Just him and the guitar.

_I got my bags packed_ _  
And I'm ready to go  
Tell me one damn thing I ain't already know  
Got my bags packed and I'm ready to run  
But then she pulled me back in with a kiss, bang_

She remembered listening to the actual song not to long ago, and not really liking it because of the vocalist. But this—this was actually good. Rey tried not to let herself be distracted as she went about cleaning the small venue.

_Saw a gun_ _  
Someone hits the floor  
She told me, "Better step back from that open door"  
Got my bags packed can't take no more  
But then she pulled me back in with a kiss, bang_

She wished that he would play something else. Something interesting. This was something that you could hear from anyone really. She wanted to hear something that sounded like it was from him. It didn’t take long for her wish to happen though, because he abandoned the song half way through and started playing something completely different and more aggressive. She wondered what it would sound like on an electric guitar.

_The old tell the youth, "Do exactly what you're told"_ _  
The day the youth might listen is the day the youth grows old  
The youth need the money, there's no such thing as enough  
But the old know that money ain't gon' give them what they want_

Oh yes, she could automatically tell that this was going to be better. She was basically finished by now, but she pretended to be busy. He seemed pretty in the zone too.

_Oh, we got bills_ _  
We got taxes  
We got dreams  
We need satisfaction  
And on the day  
That I lie still  
But thou still have taxes  
And I still have bills  
And I'll still have bills  
And I'll still have bills_

Now she had questions about him. A lot of questions, really. Like, why the fuck was he in this band? Seriously. Why. He should be in a solo act.

_The old tell the youth, "That's the wrong way that they livin'"_ _  
The youth always want more than what the youth is given  
The youth think the money is gon' give them what they need  
But the old know that money isn't always what it seems_

He carries this song all the way through, and it’s hard not to be mesmerized. It’s hard not to act like he looked perfect on stage. _He’s still a dick, remember?_ He started another song.

_I lose a bit of myself with every selfie_ _  
Lose sleep over wealth, it's not healthy  
Finding a new religion on Yelp to come help me  
Praying to the label itself, "Do not shelf me"  
In the middle with the beggars and rejects  
Reading between text with weed, liquor, and sex  
She say she love me at dusk, but at dawn  
I pack up my things and I'm gone_

_And I don't know where I'm gonna go_ _  
But I don't care, I'm on the road  
Never been a perfect soul  
But I will not apologize  
Been a lot of places in this life  
And I did a lot wrong I can't make right  
Never been a perfect soul  
But I will not apologize_

It’s pretty clear that this one is a newer thing because she can hear him adjusting things and trying things out again and it’s actually really neat to listen to and watch, but she realized with a bit of horror than they had been there for a long time. It was nearly one in the morning, and all that energy that she had seemed to be plummeting.

“Hey,” She called out. It took a second for him to realize that she was talking to him. He put down his guitar. “It’s time for you to get out, closing was like thirty minutes ago.”

“And you let me stay…”

“Yeah,”

“Why?” Rey shrugged.

“You asked. But it’s time to go.” He nodded and grabbed his stuff, and actually picked up the things that he had left. He was going to go out the back when he said.

“Uh, Rey?”

“Yeah,”

“I just wanted to tell you that I am actually really sorry for acting like a dick to you.”

_Shit._ She was ready to just go home and forget about everything, but this asshole had to go and give her puppy dog eyes and it was really hard to do that. “Yeah, I don’t know why you did that.”

He was about to open his mouth to say something when Rey said, “but—I half forgive you.”

“You—half forgive me?” He quirked an eyebrow, obviously somewhat confused.

“Yeah. Half, meaning I don’t hate you but I’m not quite sure if we can be anything other than acquaintances.” _Not that Rey knew many other people besides just, acquaintances._

“Okay. Okay. I guess I deserve that, um—I’m going to go now.”

“Yeah, see you.”

“See you, Rey.”

__

Rey went home feeling really weird. She wasn’t sure, exactly. What it was that she was feeling, because of course emotions were never that easy to be able to decipher. She shook her head and closed the door to her apartment, remembering that she actually had to eat something before she went to bed, getting a piece of cheese out of the refrigerator and stuffing it in her mouth, taking a shower and then putting her earbuds in.

It didn't take her long after that to fall asleep. 

__

__

**2018**

The next time that Rey and Ben saw each other, it wasn’t as chaotic and bad as the second time was, and Rey didn’t expect it at all. She had been out getting more Ramen than she should be getting, and she just so happened to run into Ben who was also getting groceries. _What the hell? Since when did a rock star get his own groceries?_ They stood there for a minute, and Rey looked on both sides of the aisle, wondering why he was here. _Didn’t he get mobbed half of the time?_

“Oh, hey.” She said. “What’re you doing here?”

“Shopping,”

“Right,”

“Right.” It was the most awkward conversation that the two of them could possibly have. Rey was about to turn around and leave when Ben continued, “I live here now.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Ben nodded, “it’s like one of the places where you can’t really get mobbed. And I just needed to get away from the band.”

“Speaking of the band,” Rey turned around. “How is it?”

“I’m not in it anymore, I quit as soon as my contract was up.”

“Wow,”

“Yeah,”

“When did you do that?”

“Like a month ago,” He admitted sheepishly.

“Why did you decide to move here?”

“It’s not closed to the city, quiet. I like nature,”

“Right,” Rey bit her lip. “Well, you could’ve texted.”

“I wasn’t sure that you wanted me to,”

“Maybe not, I could’ve gotten one of my friends to show you around though.” She really wished he hadn’t looked at her choices of ramen and more .96 cent ramen. She could feel her palms sweat as she gripped the side of the cart.

“Do you want to go to dinner—some time?”

“No,”

“Okay,”

“Why do you look like I just kicked a puppy in front of you?”

“Nothing,”

She started to walk away.

“It’s just—I want to get to know you better.” She stopped. _Okay, say something. Say something._

“I’m not very interesting,” She left before she could really start to freak out.


	4. a little bit of progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's short, but the next chapter will be longer to make up for it.

Ben tried not to take whatever had happened between him and Rey personally. He really did. He was mostly just confused, though. He thought that they had gotten past this weird place where they had been before, so he wasn’t sure why she freaked out when he asked her to dinner. It seemed that for a week, Rey all but disappeared. He had even gone back to her venue twice to see if she was there. Both times, she wasn’t.

The second time he came in though, one of the bartenders noticed him. “Hey, Rose. That guy is here!” She had shouted. Rose—he remembered her now. One of the girls that Rey talked closely with when she was here. A petite woman who looked just as scary as Rey came out of the back and Ben felt like he should leave.

He didn’t. Instead, he approached the bar. It was a slower night since no one was singing and Rose spoke first, “Can I get you something?”

“No,” He said, “I’ve been trying not to drink.”

“How’s that been going for you?”

“Had some varying success,” He said.

“Want some water?”

“Water would be nice,” She got him a bottle of water from the ice chest. He could tell that she wanted to say something else, but he beat her to it. “So, uh where is Rey?”

“She’s taken the week off,” Rose said. Before Ben could even wonder if Rose knew about what had happened at the store, Rose confirmed his suspicions. “It doesn’t have to really do with her avoiding you—fully. It’s not just that, she’s not been feeling that great.”

“Oh, is she sick?”

“Sure,”

He took a sip of water before saying, “I kind of wanted to apologize, because I think that I freaked her out when I asked her to dinner.” Rose bit her lip and she and the other bartender glanced at each other. It was pretty clear that both of them knew something that they weren’t going to tell him.

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” The other bartender said, “sorry, by the way. Name’s Kaydel.” She went back to working the other side of the bar and Rose rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t worry about it. Seriously.”

“It was just—”

“—a dramatic reaction?” Rose asked.

“I was going to say weird,” He shrugged, “but then again maybe I said something wrong.”

There was a moment of silence between the two of them. Rose bit her lip, like she was wondering if she could actually tell Ben what she was about to tell him. “Look, uh. Rey just isn’t great at people. New people. Kaydel and I have been her friends since middle school, and she hasn’t really gotten any new friends since then. So, I would just give her some time. I can’t tell you everything about her, obviously, there are some things you should hear from her, but it isn’t you.”

Ben wished that that was enough to make him feel better, but he didn’t feel better at all. He said, “Thanks,” and then just left after that, taking out his phone and starting to text Rey.

**Ben: Hey, I just wanted to see if you were okay. I really didn’t mean to freak you out when I saw you at the store. It’s just that moving to a new place and not having any friends is kind of lonely, and you’re the only person that I know, so I thought that we could get to know each other better. If you don’t want to do that, that’s fine. I just hope that you’re doing okay.**

He got back to his apartment and laid down in bed. He was so tired, there were so many things that he had to do, but he didn’t have the motivation to do them right now. So, he fell asleep instead.

__

Rey had a lot of favorite mediums when it came to art. Her favorite right now being ink, which she would mix into her painting in small ways. There was just something so calming about it. She wasn’t sure how long she had painted before her phone rang. Four missed calls from Rose, she was calling again. “Hey, what’s up?” Rey asked when she picked up the phone.

“Hey, your rockstar boyfriend came by the bar today.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” She rolled her eyes, “what did he want?”

“He just wanted to ask if you were okay, wanted to apologize for freaking you out.” Rey wasn’t sure if she felt irritated or embarrassed or angry about that. A nauseous feeling gathered in the pit of her stomach.

“Why would he do that?”

“Probably because he really likes you, Rey. And he’s lonely, he needs a friend.”

“I think he’ll figure out sooner or later, I’m not great friend material.”

“Rey,” Rose said. Her tone was enough to get Rey’s attention. “I get that you’re having problems right now, but tone down the attitude okay?” Rey looked at her phone and saw a text message from him pop up.

“He texted me,”

“Do yourself a favor and don’t text him back until you’re in a better mood,”

“Why do you care about this?”

“Because, he’s actually a nice person and he’s trying. Okay? Everyone makes mistakes and I think that maybe—you should give him a chance.” Rey fell silent for a minute. “Okay? Will you just trust me on this?”

“If you think that he’s a nice person, I’ll talk to him. Not today, though.”

“Yes, not today.”

She didn’t text him back for another week, but once she did, all she said was.

**Rey: Thank you.**

__

Ben wished he got to see Rey earlier than he did. It took another week and a half before he got to see her. There were some legal issues going on and of course, Snoke trying to bar him from being able to record anything for the rest of his life. He had expected that, though, and being the son of a senator had some perks to it. Access to the best lawyers in country, for one, and they said that they could get the issues resolved without him flying to a different state.

He got a text from Rey, and he knew he shouldn’t be so excited, considering that she had practically ghosted him after that one big ordeal.

**Rey: Thanks.**

Was she mad at him? What did that even mean? He wasn’t sure.

**Ben: I take it you’re feeling better?**

**Rey: Infinitely.**

He wasn’t sure about these one word answers, at all. But that slowly faded away as she texted him more.

**Rey: Sorry, going into work**

**Rey: Weird question, do you like bagels?**

**Ben: Who doesn’t?**

**Rey: I felt bad for the store incident so I ordered some. It’s waiting for you at the Siren if you want one. If not, it’s chill. I’ll eat it.**

**Ben: I’ll be there in twenty**

And he is there in twenty. Rey warmed up his bagel for him right as he walked in the door and handed it to him. It was probably the best thing that he had ever had. “Thank you,” She shrugged, busying herself around the venue while he ate. He saw Rose wink at him before walking away, and Rey came back. She sat opposite of him. He watched her squirm for a second before she spoke.

“How’s your day going?”

“Good, you?”

That awkwardness that the two of them had just sort of melted away in the first five minutes of them talking, and their conversation just became natural. Rey talked about how the venue was going through a slow period and asked Ben if he liked moving here, he decided that he did. A lot. There was something about talking to her that just felt right. They began talking like they had been friends for a while, catching up, and then more people came in and Rey said that she had to go back to work. Ben thanked her for the bagel and left.


	5. undrunk pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :D i hope u enjoy

Rey had never considered herself a very nice person, or someone who would comfort someone when they were sad, but when she saw Ben Solo come in looking like he was running on two hours of sleep, and that he had been crying, she immediately said, “You, in the back. Now.” She knew that when she was upset, she didn’t like other people witnessing it, so she only did the same here. He gave her this look like had no idea what she was doing. “Come on, in the back.” She motioned for him to follow her and he did without a word. She closed the door behind the two of them and looked at him, trying to choose her words carefully. “What’s going on?”

“Do I really look that bad?” He laughed hollowly. She nodded a little bit before he shook his head. “You don’t have to deal with it,” He told her. “It’s just a lot of bullshit and you’re busy so—”

“Ben.” She said firmly. “What made you cry?”

He has this look in his eye like he’s confused as to why she would care about why he cared at all, and honestly, Rey was a little bit surprised too. But the prospect of him possibly being hurt has her chest tightening and her blood boiling. “It’s um—you know I left the band—and uh—Snoke wasn’t happy about that.”

“Who’s Snoke?”

“Former Manager, Producer, I used to be under his label. He uh—he’s trying to ban me from being able to record my own music and uh—the best my lawyers can do is compromise with me not being able to record and release for one year. Which is such _fucking_ bullshit because that’s literally all I want to do and I don’t have any other outlet and I can’t tell anyone about it either without risk of being sued, and it’s so fucking stupid. I hate it. I hate it so much.”

Rey knew right then and there she was out of her comfort zone, but Ben was starting to shed actual tears again and she had to do something, she put her hands on his face as gently as possible and made him look at her. “Hey, hey. Stop that, okay? I know that this sucks ass—and I would fucking kill him for you if I could—but he does not control you anymore.” Rey knew nothing about the music industry, but she knew enough about abusive men that thought they could control people. Her hands dropped to his shoulders and she forgot how _fucking_ broad they were, how much she was attracted to him. “He doesn’t control you anymore, and this one year ban sucks, yes. But—” Maybe she found a loophole, “—what about producing and writing songs for other artists? Get your name out there and let people know that you have more talent than the rest of that god awful band and that fucking asshole producer, and come back with the best album ever.”

His breathing started to even some time during her speech, and he started nodding. “And when you release new shit, I will listen.”

“Thank you,”

“Also none of this bullshit about it’s the only thing you’re good at,” She told him, “do you think I’m just good at bartending?”

“No,”

“Right. I do other things, I have other hobbies. Maybe you just have to find them to figure out that you’re good at them.” He nodded again, and looked like he was about to turn out of her office before she said. “Wait,”

“What?”

“You should stay here until you feel better, I know it’s not a good idea for me to drive when I’m emotional so—stay in the office. Um—I’ll get you some water. Also, um…” Why was she doing this? Her brain was screaming at her not to do this, that she shouldn’t do this, but she did anyway. “Do you like boba tea?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had boba,”

It was insane how easy it was for her to lose her courage. “Oh—well then, never mind.”

“No, no. What was it you were going to ask?”

Rey fidgeted around a little bit. Why was she doing this? She never did anything like this. “I um, it’s just—there’s this new place down the street that has boba tea. And Rose and Kaydel are both busy so I haven’t had anyone to go with.”

“Um, I would love to go.”

“As friends,”

“As friends, yeah. I haven’t been out in a while so—when do you want to do that?”

“I get off in about an hour? If you wouldn’t mind?”

“Okay,” He nodded. “I’ll just wait here, if you don’t mind.”

“Yeah.” She said. “Let me go get you that water,” She did. She had no idea why she was doing what she did, but it just felt so easy. She found herself wishing the hour was over faster and she hated that. She hated it so much. Hated that she actually wanted to go out and do something, but she kept her word. She put up her uniform and told Rose and Kaydel she was leaving.

“Okay,” Rose said, “is Kylo—”

“Ben,”

“Ben,” She said, giving Rey a look. “Is Ben still back there?”

“Um, yeah. But don’t worry about him.”

“And why’s that?” Kaydel asked.

“Don’t ask questions,” She said, moving into the back and opening the door. “You ready?” He looked immensely better than he had before, now that he was hydrated and breathing correctly. \

“Yeah,”

__

Ben wasn’t sure what to make of Rey’s taste of music. It seemed like she liked some of the music that he had played, but then she was also listening to stuff like Billie Eilish and Paramore and it was really weird to pair her down. He got a glimpse of her phone as she put one earbud in her ear, and _Rose-Colored Boy by Paramore_ started playing. There was something so _her_ about her choice of song though, that he liked it. He liked it even more when Rey seemed to be calmed down, suggesting that the two of them hang out together.

The new boba place was fairly cute, and not the type of place that Ben liked to hang out, but the pastel walls and calming music and general lack of people there was enough to make him want to stay. Rey ordered a mango tea with popping boba, and Ben ordered the same because he had no idea what he was supposed to order here. “It’s generally pretty sweet,” She told him.

“Luckily I happen to have a sweet tooth,” He told her. The two of them headed to a table as they waited for their drinks, and Ben leaned in. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

“What do people who’ve technically known each other for years but hardly know anything about each other talk about?” Rey shrugged.

“I don’t know, I think they get to know each other.”

“I’m pretty sure that you wouldn’t like me very much if you got to know me,”

“I very much doubt that,” Ben told her.

“You would,”

“I’m pretty sure that I would really fucking like you if I got to know you, unless you’re a member of the Nazi party or kick puppies.”

Rey laughed a little nervously and the two of them got their drinks, “Fortunately, I’m not a member of the Nazi party and I don’t kick puppies.” She told him.

“See? Already off to a great start.” He decided to back off a little bit. He could see that Rey was nervous. “Is there something you want to know about me?”

“A lot of things, actually.” Rey said without hesitation. “But first, take a sip.” She took a sip of hers and Ben did his.

“Ooh, mm. This is really good.”

“Yeah?” She smiled and it was the best thing that Ben had ever seen.

“Yeah. Really.”

“Cool. Good. Now you have a new place to go to,”

“Yeah, I guess I do.” There was a silence between the two of them before Rey spoke again.

“So,” She said, “this is dumb but—what’s your favorite color?”

“Black,”

“That’s not a color,” She said.

“Oh, really? And what makes you the authority on colors?”

“As an art major who’s still paying off college loans, I think I have a little more authority on colors that you do.” She looked like she wanted to slap herself for a second, for saying that, and Ben had no idea why. Maybe it made her uncomfortable?

“Well—” He said, “I also like red. But um—recently I’m starting to like green a lot today.” Green like the color of the dress that she had been wearing the first time that the two of them met. Green like the color of her Converse.

“Forest Green—that’s my favorite color.” She looked back down at her drink and sipped for a long time. He could see her turning pink and he had no idea why that was. What was happening? “Anyways, cat or dog person?”

“Dogs,”

“Thank god, we can continue to talk to each other.”

“So I assume you’re another dog person,”

“Oh definitely,” She said, “what can I say I like ‘em dumb and loyal. Cats tend to want to kill me on sight.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah,” She said.

“Okay, a question from me.” He asked. “Who’s your favorite artist? Really?”

“If you’re going to get me to say you, the answer would still be not you.”

“Ah, I’m crushed. But seriously. Who?”

“What if I told you that I don’t have a favorite artist? Or a favorite genre? What would you say to that?”

“Everyone has a favorite artist and a favorite genre, Rey.”

“No.” She said. “I like music that makes me feel things.”

“I guess that’s respectable.”

“You?”

“I mean—this is going to be weird to explain, but my favorite artist is someone I can’t listen to.”

__

“Really? Who is it?” She asks in spite herself. This is too personal. A lot more personal than she wanted from this.

“Johnny Cash,”

“Johnny Cash, really?”

“Yeah, uh. My dad’s favorite.”

“Is he—”

“No, he’s alive.” He said. “But you know how it is, parents and kids just don’t get along together sometimes.”

“Actually, I wouldn’t.” She nodded and bit her lip. “I have no clue who my parents are.”

“Oh my god, fuck, that’s awful. I’m sorry for saying that, I didn’t know.” At any normal time, Rey would have used this as an excuse to leave, but she didn’t. While her brain was screaming at her that she needed to leave and that she shouldn’t be doing this, there was this equally intense part of her brain that was telling her that she should stay. Because really, she’s so fucking lonely, and she hasn’t been held in a while or talked to by a boy who looked at her like she mattered. She liked the attention, and that warm feeling he gave her.

Was that bad?

There was something to be said about the fact that he apologized for the fact that he said something that might have upset her instead of apologizing for the fact that she was in the system. Because one of those things he could make better, the other was something that he couldn’t. “It’s fine. Really. I’m doing pretty fuckin’ good without those losers.” She took another drink of her tea and looked up at him. She didn’t think she would ever get used to that intense glare of his.

“I would say so,” He said, “I mean, you own and manage your own business and are a pretty neat person to talk to, if I say so myself.” After that hitch everything seemed to go really well, she and Ben just talked and talked and talked, and everything just clicked between them again.

Everything.

It was scary, how right it felt to talk to him.

__

Ben knew that he had always fallen way too fast, but he also knew that when he knew, he just knew. So when he felt that same feeling with Rey that he had the first night that the two of them met, he counted it as a blessing. Something that he would onto for the rest of time. It was this gut wrenching falling feeling in his stomach, accompanied by this warmth and feeling of safety that he didn’t feel with other people.

The two of them talked until the shop closed and then walked around the square more, telling shitty jokes and making each other laugh, and then the two of them ended up in a bar. Ben brought the two of them some shots. Everything from there seemed to be a whirlwind, but everything was going so well. It was going so good—and then Rey asked if she could go back to his apartment with him.

“Sure,” He said. “That would be great,” And it was great.

Sex with Rey was amazing. It was like the two of them knew exactly what the other needed. At first, they started fucking on the countertop in Ben’s apartment, but then he stopped. “Why are you stopping?” She whined.

“Give me—” He hiccuped “—are you sure that you want to do this?”

“Yeah, yes. Fuck yes, I do.” She told him.

“Mm, okay. So do I, but I got to fuck you in a bed. I am a gentleman after all,” Rey rolled her eyes.

“Do we really have to do that?”

“I can’t eat you out right on a countertop,”

“Fine, let’s go to your bed.” That was the first time that he made love to Rey in his bed. When he woke up, with a pounding headache, she was gone. There was one new text.

**Rey: Hey btw I made it home okay, I hope ur good**

**Ben: Yeah, just got a headache**

**Rey: you should eat**

**Ben: I will**

He almost asked her why she left, but he didn’t. He just got up—kind of confused as to what happened last night. He had no fucking clue what happened. But after he ate and had three bottles of water, he started to write.

Scraps of different lyrics, not necessarily for the same song. 

_I wish I could get a little undrunk…_

_You got your hands on me/ you got your hands on me/ a thousand miles away and you still got your hands on me..._

_Take another shot / need the novocaine/ wish shit would numb my heart way it numbs my brain/_

There were so many lyrics. 

So many. 

Almost enough to scrap together a few songs. 


	6. undrunk pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sigh

Rey really liked sleeping with Ben. It was something that she wouldn’t normally admit about anyone, because she usually didn’t sleep with the same person more than once. Not really into that whole attachment sort of thing.

But she really liked getting to sleep with Ben. He always had this look in his eyes that made her feel safe. And he wasn’t the type to act incredulous when she wanted to get on top. He was always so gentle and so understanding and Rey really liked that. She liked it when she felt like she was appreciated.

He always seemed so eager when she came over too. Like she was way better at having sex with him than she actually knew that she was.

It was amazing.

She really thought that Ben felt the same way.

__

They slept together four more times, every time the both of them were a little bit drunk. Nothing too serious, it was just easier for Rey to admit that she needed him there that way. She thought that Ben understood that. Apparently, he didn’t though. It started when she called him, the way that she always did. But before she could even get anything out he told her, “No.”

“What?”

“No,” He told her again. “I’m not having sex with you right now, Rey. I can’t keep doing this.” It was so harsh and loud and Rey’s head was already pounding that she sat on the other line silent for a minute. Part of her wanted to ask why, but she wasn’t so drunk that she was ready to humiliate herself in that way.

“Oh.” She said. “Well okay then. Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t do well with just fuck buddies, and I—”

“Okay, I think that’s enough. Bye, Ben.”

__

Ben hadn’t seen Rey in a month. Maybe this was better, as all this legal stuff started to get sorted out and brought up again. He really didn’t want to get out of his house at all, and Rey didn’t make any more attempts to talk to him after he told her that. He just wished that she would still text him, because even if he didn’t want to have sex with her, the two of them were actually nice to each other at points and she made him laugh.

Not a lot of people made him laugh like that. He tried to let it go. It was hard though. So, he ended up back at the Siren. To see if Rey was working. He knew that he probably should have texted her to tell her that he was going to be there, but he wasn’t thinking and he really wanted to talk to her.

Bad move though. As soon as she saw him she rolled her eyes, “You want something to drink?”

“No,”

“Then get out,”

_“Rey,”_

“I mean it. Get out.” Without another word she walked into the back and closed the door to her office.

“Damn, dude.” The other bartender, Kaydel stepped forward, “What the fuck did you do?”

“I don’t know.” He lied. “I really don’t.”

__

Rey hated crying over men. It seemed like that happened a lot these days though. Rey wished that she could just tell her brain to stop doing this. She just wanted to have one day where she didn’t feel like an utter piece of shit. For a second, tears just streamed down her face, but then she could feel it.

The urge to really cry, to actually sob.

In order to stop herself from making noise, she balled the end of her sleeve up and bit down on it. It wasn’t pleasant, but compared to some of the things that she used to do to keep herself from crying, it wasn’t as bad. She bit down, hard, not caring that her saliva would be left after she was done and really started to cry.

**Ben: _Hey, are you okay?_**

****

Rey left it unread and clocked out early. “Where are you going?” Kaydel asked her.

“Home,”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I need a nap.” Preferably a really long one.

__

**_Rey: I’m sorry for the way that I acted earlier. It’s just I haven’t seen you for a long time and I got pissed off. But it’s whatever. You deserve better. I hope whatever guy or girl you end up with is really nice because you only deserve the best. I’m taking the next few days off so please don’t look for me at the Siren. I’m not going to be there._ **

****

**_Rey: I will honor your wished though. Good night._ **

****

**_Ben: Rey, when I told you that I didn’t want to sleep with you when you’re drunk, I didn’t mean that I never wanted to see you again or that I didn’t want to sleep with you again. I literally only meant, I don’t want to sleep with you when you’re drunk._ **

****

**_Rey: I see. That’s not happening again though._ **

****

**_Ben: Okay, I guess I can respect that as long as you respect my boundaries as well._ **

****

**_Rey: Okay, then._ **

****

**_Ben: Okay. So are we still friends?_ **

****

**_Rey: …_ **

****

**_Rey: really?_ **

****

**_Ben: what?_ **

****

**_Rey: Fine, we’re still friends._ **

****

**_Ben: that’s not very reassuring but okay_ **

****

**_Rey: I’m not in a good mood right now, tbh._ **

****

**_Ben: Anything that you want to talk about?_ **

****

**_Rey: Honestly, you don’t deserve to be bothered by that._ **

****

**_Ben: try me_ **

****

**_Rey: maybe later, Ben. I’m not in the mood to that right now._ **


End file.
